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Woman's Perfect breakfast

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


**********
WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she
replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."


**********
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and
still be afraid of a spider.

--
A winner is NOT one who NEVER FAILS......but one who NEVER QUITS!!!"

Snack Of Humour

Newton 's Method:

<Read More>
Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

********************

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster
and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

********************

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a
Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to
Lion.

********************

Indian Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that
its a lion .

********************

Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

********************

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it,
while it's sleeping !

********************

Manirathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a
dark room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

********************

Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the
2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then
also u wont!

********************

Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic
location.

********************

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will
drop dead just watching!

********************

Menaka Gandhi method:

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables
continuously.

********************

George bush method:

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

********************

Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and
<More Fun>
surrenders

Poem Worth Reading friends.....

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Someone took the effort to write this poem.  So please, forward this to
as many people as you can.  And see if we can get a chain going around
the world that will make people understand that drinking and driving
don't mix.